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Sunday, January 13, 2008
Progress and not so much progress
We seemed to have finally turned a corner with Addy. She finally seems to have let her guard down with Anthony and they have become so much closer in the last couple of months. She tells him she loves him all the time and will sit on his lap and let him give her a kiss.

Daycare is going great. She was promoted to the 2 year old group. At 2, they tried but she wasn't ready. She's been in the new group for a couple of weeks and it's going great this time. They said she talks a lot more than she used to (she doesn't shut up at our house!), she shares and gets along with the other kids and she's attempting to use the potty. She can't wait to go in the morning and sometimes when I go to pick her up, she doesn't want to leave. I feel so relieved that she's thriving and happy.

We still have issues with the neediness and clingy-ness with me. If I leave the room, she has to yell at me constantly to reassure herself, I guess. Here's a typical conversation from this morning when I was trying to make a cup of coffee and left her for 3 minutes:

"Mommy, I love you"
" I love you, too"
"Thank you!"
"You're welcome".
"Mommy, come give me hug"
"Can't, I getting a cup of coffee. I'll be right there"
"Mommy! Come give me a kiss. I love you!"
"I love you, too"
"Thank you"
"I said thank you! I want a hug. Come here right now!"
"You're welcome. I said not right now. I'm busy. Here's a kiss (kissing noise)"
"Mommy, I want milk."
and on and on... constant dialogue.

Then I come into the room and she pats the sofa next to her. "Come sit right here, Mommy". Then she has to climb on my lap and hold me captive while I try to read the paper and drink the coffee. On my lap - never next to it. She will take a temper tantrum if I make her sit next to me. I'm tired. Anyone else going through this or gone through this who could offer advice on how to stop it? I love her dearly but I'm worn out from never having a second to myself unless she's napping.
Blogger Maggie said...
I'm glad Addy is making progress with your husband. Regarding the affection demands, Slugger went through that stage too and it's incredibly difficult. Unfortunately, it's somewhat age appropriate for Addy, so you have attachment affection needs doubled with regular affection needs. Slugger worked through it in a month or so, but I think that was largely because he's 10. It was regressive for him.

Sorry. I'm no help whatsoever. But I can commiserate!

Blogger Christine said...
This is going to take time. I found that turning around the request has helped. When they asked for a hug, I would say, "No, you come give me a hug you little bug!"

Blogger Fostermama said...
Lili was my VELCRO baby during her anxious attachment phase. I couldn't stand being touched by the end of the day. I thought I was going to go insane...but it is just a phase in the attachment cycle and will pass. I can't offer much help beyond looking further in attachment parenting books.... but I sure can understand.