Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker
Friday, September 28, 2007
Adoption Books
Any recommendations for good books geared toward adoption of younger children or toddlers?

I'm really interested in getting more info on attachment issues to help with establishing the bond with her and DH.

Being two, it's hard to tell whether the other issues she has are adoption or age related. For instance, she talks up a storm at home but is pratically mute at daycare, she's aggressive with the other kids there and won't hesitate to throw a shoe at a kid. At home, her preferred method is to stick her tongue out and blow raspberries at us, call us all "bad girls" (even the boys) and hit us if she can get close to us.

You'd think that after being a mother for almost 16 years, I'd know what the heck I'm doing by now but I don't. It's like walking a tightrope in the wind, the steps I take are cautious and uncertain. Before adoption, I could have skipped across with my eyes closed. I don't want to spoil her, but I don't want to damage her even further either for not doing the right thing...sigh.
5 Comments:
Blogger StarfishMom said...
Where did she get the term "bad girl' from? Do they tell her that at daycare (or from her foster mothers house) If she's hearing that fromt he daycare workers I'd find another daycare. If you google adoption and attachment you'll find some pretty interesting books and suggestions. Most are on Ebay or Boarders. I'm sure every book will tell you something different but you have to find what works for you.

Blogger Ahauna said...
My mother-in-law. She has Alzheimers and no matter how many times I tell her not to say that, she still does.

There is never a way to know what the right thing is. It is different for every family. We adopted our girls over two years ago (they are 8 & 10 now) while most of the time, they show no issues or problems, every once in a while when they get in trouble, they revert back to the scared little girls they were when they were with their bio family. And, yes, it would help if your mother-in-law didn't say "bad girl", but if she has Alzheimers, it will be almost impossible to stop that. Good luck! Your doing a great job. I've never had bio children, so I can't compare parenting bio to adoption, but I am sure it is completely different.

Blogger Esther said...
I've really enjoyed these books:

Attachment in Adoption, Deborah Gray
Adopting the Hurt Child
Parenting the Hurt Child

and a CD set from Love and Logic called "Healing Trust". I just listed to this 3-CD series a couple weeks ago. FABULOUS!

Next in line will be the 2nd Deborah Gray (Grey?) book that is apparently on the market. I don't know what it's called, but heard that it is newly released.

Anonymous Anonymous said...
A great book on adopting a child from foster care is, "The Connected Child." We are adopting a child from foster care. In fact, a staffing was held today, and we should know by Monday.

Anyway, that book has been awesome for my husband and me. We've learned so much in it, and I'm even trying the techniques on the junior high students I teach, and it has helped...just great parenting ideas. You gotta check it out!