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Sunday, February 18, 2007
Last Two Weeks
I've wanted to post a million times but I'm gun shy about opening myself up for critism anymore. My words and intentions have been twisted and I've been so maligned on that other blog that it's just soured my view on blogs right now. I think when people are hiding behind a computer spewing their self-righteousness, they forget that there are real people on the other end.

Anyway, Addy is doing so good. She's still really attached to me and on/off with DH. She seems to love him as long as he's across the room from her. She's eating, sleeping, playing, happy. We're all in love with her.

Early Intervention came on Tuesday and I saw her first temper tantrum. She was ok when the worker first got here then she started getting really clingy and whiny. About 20 minutes into it, she started screaming and hitting herself. I don't know if she thought the worker was coming to take her away or if she wanted to go back to the foster home. After the worker left, it took her 1/2 an hour to get back to her old self. I felt so bad that she was hurting like this. This is such a tough age, she doesn't understand what's going on and we can't verbalize to each other.

I ordered her Adoption Annoucements this week! They're pale green background with a baby carriage that says "Our New Addition" and I have a pic of her that was taken at my friend's house of her in a green top with white bows in her hair smiling into the camera. (And again, I hesitated to post this because it might be construed that I'm being materialistic spending money on annoucements, but whatever.)

Her Baby Shower is today at 1:00. Yay! I can't wait. I got her a pink and white eyelet dress with a cotton sweater. ($9.99 each at Babies R' Us, is that cheap enough for you?). We're having about 20-25 people at my mom's house. I'll post more on that later tonight.
19 Comments:
Blogger Maggie said...
Having the SW there must have really confused her. She's so little and she's been through so much. It must be hard for her to trust in any stability. It will take her a while but eventually she'll learn that she's part of your family and that you will be with her forever.

Blogger Nichole Foster said...
Girl, I have not been reading your blog long but I can say I have seen nothing that can or should be construed as wrong or bad. Just let tose "haters' be and know that there are many people out there that are pulling for you and little Addy.

That said I am sure that the SW coming was very scary for her and I am glad that she got to see that you won't give up on her and will never leave her.

Nichole

Blogger Yeah So said...
Holy Cow I missed all the drama! Don't let people's opinions bother you - you don't even know these people and they don't know you. They couldn't possibly judge you from the few words you decide to post on your blog.

I found absolutely no offense in anything you've written. Inexpensive clothes is one thing, ill-fitting and dirty are another - especially if there is no reason for it. Don't feel the need to justify yourself. Some people never learned "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

So glad things are going well, and Addy is happy and healthy!

Blogger Amanda said...
I bet she did get really scared when she saw the social worker again, even though she's probably doing really well with you, I'd bet these kinds of transitions are hard on her.

Keep up the good work. I'd love to see the announcements, if you have a link.

It's nice to see you posting again. Don't worry about people who have posted negative comments. You have plenty of people pulling for you guys. We did Adoption Announcements for our girls, so hopefully there's nothing wrong with that. We made ours, only because the girls wanted to help with them. We took them and had their pictures taken and put a picture in every one of them. I would've ordered them and had them made if the girls were younger or didn't want to help.

I am sure it was very scary seeing the social worker. I know if my girls old social worker came in, they would get worried and they are 8 & 10 years old.

Do you have an adoption date yet? That day will be an amazing day for you.

Keep posting. Most of us look forward to reading your blog and hearing the changes in Addy and how well she is adjusting.

Blogger Mary said...
Thanks for posting. I was going to send you an e-mail to check in on you! I'm so glad Addy is do well. The announcements sound very cute...and yes, do you have a link to them? I can't wait to hear all about her shower!!! How fun for all of you.

Blogger Chelley said...
I am so glad that you updated!!
I have been thinking about you heaps hoping that things were ok!!

Sorry to hear that some really STUPID person has made you feel that you cannot blog what you want to blog!!! (WHO EVER IT IS GO GET A REAL LIFE)

And I as always will look forward to the up and downs of life!! And I hope that you know that we are here for you for both!

Blogger Chelley said...
Can you email pics? I would love to see one of the annoucment it sounds pretty

let me know I can email my addy to you

Blogger Fostermama said...
I'm glad to see you're back!

YAY I am so glad you are back. I can't wait to hear all about your baby shower and that gorgeous baby girl.

Laurie
www.litvinskyfamily.com

Blogger DeAnna said...
I'm glad to see you are posting. I'm sorry people have made you feel self conscious about posting. I don't understand why people like they have some kind of right to attack people when they weren't there to experience first hand the things you were talking about.

I bet that was hard to see Addy acting like that and wondering what was going on in her sweet little head. I'm sure this all can be confusing to her, but I'm sure she can also see how much you all love her -- I can tell it and I only see it through the words you write here!! :) The announcements sound adorable!

Blogger Fostermama said...
We need another update...don't stop blogging. How's that baby girl?

Blogger FosterAbba said...
I've been thinking a lot about your reaction to my post We Are Not Villains, and I think I really need to clarify something. I didn't write my post to insult, hurt or vilify you. Rather, the post was written as an alternate explanation for why Addy and her property were delivered in the condition that they were.

Obviously, I don't live in your home and I didn't see things first hand. However, my experience has been that people love to jump to the conclusion that all foster parents are lousy, selfish and uncaring people, and I like to dissuade people from holding on to that opinion.

The fact that your social worker told you the previous foster parents were under investigation may or may not be true. I've personally seen, in my own county, workers say and do anything to win favor of adoptive parents to get children placed. I've seen them lie, manipulate and tug at people's heartstrings in the most shameless ways, so that children get placed.

I can't entirely fault the workers for doing that. After all, in the adoptions world they are salespeople. They are trying to find suitable homes for unwanted and troubled kids, and they have to sell the idea to potential adoptive families. If they think it will help, of course they'll tell the adoptive family the fosters were terrible because it tugs at the heartstrings and might push the adoption forward.

Anyway, I hope you'll consider this comment an olive branch, because I do want you to know that my post was not intended to hurt your feelings. You might also want to stop by my blog and read my post Go Pound Sand which talks about the importance of developing a thick skin while blogging.

In the Blogosphere, it's important to remember that it's incredibly easy to make hurtful comments, so you'll collect a certain amount of deliberately nasty remarks. It's equally important to keep in mind, though, that not all posts and comments are intended to be hurtful, and that people aren't always going to see issues from the same perspective.

Blogger Calico Sky said...
Sorry to hear you have had a tough time.
I love the look of your blog!
I am really looking forward to learning more about your adoption journey!
Kate

Blogger Amanda said...
Hope you're all doing well - I've been thinking about you!

Blogger Esther said...
Hey, don't let the nasty bloggers get to you. I only just found your blog a couple days ago, so I missed the saga of whoever was bothering you. sorry to hear about that. ;o(

I had an experience with that recently on my blog. I have a tame, thoughtful, kind, adoption blog, and someone wrote me a couple times about what they don't like. So I wrote them back to NOT read it. Duh.

Take heart and keep up the good fight ;o)

Best wishes, Esther

Blogger Rich and Lisa W. said...
When are you coming back??!! I so miss reading your updates on Addy. I have been following your journey for some time and am also a member of the MWD's board. I can't wait to see photo's her and your baby shower... How exciting!!

Take Care,
Lisa
www.weatherbyadoption.blogspot.com

Blogger happyadoptingmom said...
I hope you feel comfortable to post. Even though I was sad when you locked it as I dont know you IRL and could not read it. I think you should lock it and post rather than not posting and losing this outlet for sharing what you are feeling and going through.

Blogger Melanie said...
I just found your blog and I have recently started the fost/adopt journey. I love reading how Addy has come into your lives. It gives me hope!! Thank you for sharing.