I just spoke with my trainer. She still hasn't heard back from the caseworker making the decision regarding Hope. I'll take what I can get...no news is good news. She also said not to expect anything to happen this week or next with people being on vacation for the holidays. That's fine. As long as she's isn't accepted, I still have a shot to be her Mommy. Oh God, I want to be so bad.
She said that the lady put the brakes on adopting now because she wasn't told that "Hope" needed help in school before the presentation. So what? I have 15 years of parenting experience and I know how to do that. Ugh. Why????? Why?????
The trainer also said that it was originally thought that she would do best in a home with no other children so she could get the extra attention she may need but maybe the worker would rethink it.
Who knows what's going to happen? All I know is that I'm at the mercy of someone that I've never spoken to and I'm not allowed to speak to. I'm trying so hard to be patient. It's hard, damnit. I don't want her in foster care for Christmas. I want so much for her to be home and safe and to just be able to be a carefree child waking up on Christmas morning surrounded by her Mommy and Daddy and brothers and seeing her wide-eyed wonder at all the presents Santa left for her. That's what it should be. Maybe next year? Oh, I hope so.
Yes. I'm glad you still have a little left in you to keep trudging along. But, what else can we do? Each step, forward or back, takes us a little closer to our child.
Thanks for all your support yesterday and today. I just hit a big speed bump and took it pretty hard. I bounce back, though. Onward and upward, right?
The waiting is killing me though.
((Hugs))